It's a Wonderful Life Raphael
by Donatellosgirl36
Summary: We don't always know just how important we are. Our lives affect others in profound ways that we will never fully understand. A 2012 one-shot.


Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT. Unless Nick is feeling generous. Hint, hint! ;)

A/N: I've been wanting to do this one for a while. I originally thought of making it a short in my AU, but decided the 2012 verse was more fun. Written for the Writer-Nexus August 2017 challenge – Dream Diary.

* * *

"None of you understand me! Just leave me alone! All of you!" Raphael slammed the door to his bedroom and slumped against it to the floor. "They just don't get it!" He sighed resting his face in his hands, the ball of guilt beginning to form itself in his gut. His brothers were getting on his nerves as usual. Mikey had begged Donnie to build him something to make pizzas, so they could have one anytime they wanted. Well, it had exploded on the first try, sending shrapnel along with uncooked pizza shooting across the lair. One piece of metal had ripped his punching bag. He'd proceeded to call his genius brother an idiot and youngest brother useless. Leo as usual had tried to defend them and calm things down. But Raph was going to have none of that. He'd called Leo overprotective and overbearing. Only Master Splinter had been able to stop them from an all-out brawl.

Raph sighed again, dragging his hands down his face. He wished he could control his temper sometimes. Donnie certainly wasn't an idiot. And although Mikey was annoying at times, he wasn't really useless. Yes, Leo was overbearing most of the time, but he didn't deserve the rant Raph had gone off on either. "All I ever do is criticize them and jump down their shells. Maybe they'd be better off without me." Feeling dejected, he let his head rest against the door and closed his eyes.

* * *

It was dark in the room when Raph opened his eyes. The floor beneath him was cold where he lay. He grunted as pushed himself up into a sitting position. _I must've fell asleep on the floor._ He frowned as the memory of the argument returned to him. _I guess, I really should apologize._

Standing, he automatically reached for the light switch. But when he flipped it nothing happened. "Now what?" He grumbled as he opened the door. He'd expected light to come streaming into his room, but the lair beyond was dark as well. "Guys! What's wrong with the lights?" There was no response, which instantly put him on edge. "Donnie! Leo!" Still nothing. He fumbled for his T-phone to use as a flashlight.

He couldn't prevent the gasp that left him. The lair was destroyed. Chunks of ceiling and walls were scattered across the pit area and a thick layer of dust covered the floor. Turning around, Raph shone his light back into his bedroom. But the room behind him was by no stretch of the imagination a bedroom. It looked like some kind of office, and it too was equally as demolished. Panic was now rushing through his system. What had happened here?

Rushing from room to room, he called franticly for his family. "Master Splinter! Leo! Donnie! Mikey! Where is everyone! Answer me!" Every room was empty and dirty. The place looked like it hadn't been lived in, in a very long time.

Trying to calm himself, he tried to think things through. _Maybe they were attacked or something and they had to leave? That would explain why the place looks ruined._ Raph knew they had several fallback shelters, places they could hide and store supplies in case something happened and they couldn't reach the lair.

Looking down at his T-phone again, he tried to find his brothers' cells. "No signal. How the shell do I have no signal?" He let out a frustrated growl. "Looks like I'm going to have to do this the hard way."

They had two primary fallback places. He'd just have to check each one. As he searched, he had to take cover several times as Foot-bots patrolled the area. The first location he checked was empty. There weren't even supplies stored there, which was curious. The second spot was an old maintenance area at the bottom of an airshaft. As he approached it, he could smell smoke. Hope bubbling in his chest, he hurried forward. Relief washed over him at the sight of the small fire and two of his brothers sleeping beside it.

Mikey opened his eyes and gasped. Before he could say anything, Leo was on his feet, katana leveled at Raph. "Stay back!"

"Leo, what are you doing? It's me! Man, am I glad to see you guys!" Raph started forward with a wide grin.

Mikey stood behind Leo and peeked tentatively around his brother's shoulder. Leo glared. "Who are you! How did you find us!"

Raph frowned. "Come on, Leo, very funny. You know who I am. I'm your brother. I'm Raphael." He took a few more steps into the light of the fire, which only made Leo growl and his grip tighten on his blade. "Hey, wait. Where's Donnie?"

Mikey whimpered and clutched at Leo's free arm. "Leo, how does he know about Donnie?"

"Shh." Leo hissed over his shoulder, before turning back to Raph. "I've only ever had two brothers and you are not one of them!" The tip of Leo's sword shook slightly as he spoke. " _He_ sent you, didn't he? The Shredder! He sent you to trick us!"

Raph's jaw hung open. "What! No! Leo, what's going on! Where are Don and Master Splinter?"

Mikey gaped at him. "You know about Sensei?"

"Mikey, hush." Leo warned, his eyes never leaving Raph. "I've already lost one brother! I won't let him take another!"

Raph felt shock and horror run through him. "Donnie's dead?" Behind Leo, Mikey let out another whimper, averting his one eye. Raph blinked and took another step forward. "Mikey…what happened to your eye?" The eye hole over Mikey's right eye was sewn shut and the other eye, which was normally a vibrant blue, was dull and suspicious.

Mikey ducked his head shamefully. The older turtle growled loudly and shoved his littlest brother protectively behind him. Rage crossed Leo's face. "You should know who did that to him! He's your master after all!"

"Look, I don't know what's going on." Raph put out his hands in a placating gesture. "But I swear, Shredder didn't send me. I'm your brother. How else would I know about our fallback spots?"

"You're lying! It's a trick! You must have-!" Leo was cut off by a violent series of coughs.

"Leo!" Mikey caught him as he stumbled, the katana falling from his limp hand. Slowly, he lowered him to the ground. "Leo! Come on, bro, just breathe."

Raph hurried over to kneel beside them. "Leo?" He reached out to touch him, but Mikey shoved him away.

"Don't touch my brother!" Mikey half cradled Leo against his chest.

Raph stared at him for a long moment as Leo continued to struggle to breathe. Finally, he tried again. "Mikey, please. I promise, I'm not gonna hurt you or Leo. You're my brothers. You have to tell me what's going on. What's wrong with Leo? Where is Sensei? And what happened to Donnie?"

Mikey whimpered again, beginning to rock Leo gently. He wouldn't meet Raph's eyes, still mistrustful of him.

Raph frowned. Now that he was close to them, he could see just how gaunt they both appeared. Their faces seemed hollow and their eyes sunken. They were starving from the looks of them. What could have possibly brought them to this point? He needed to convince them that he knew them. Raph sighed. "Your favorite TV show is Crognard and Leo loves that Space Heroes junk." Mikey finally lifted his head to look at him, but his grip on Leo didn't loosen. "Your favorite pizza is ice cream and pepperoni. Leo's is peppers and sausage." He looked down at his oldest brother. "Leo always pushes himself too hard and you always act like you're not paying attention but you really are." Mikey's expression was beginning to soften, though Raph didn't notice. "And Donnie's always trying to make things better for us. He's always trying to make things right." Raph sighed. "And all I ever seem to do is fight with you guys."

"About a year ago," Mikey started quietly, "we were captured by Shredder. He took my eye." He absently lifted a hand to his face. "Master Splinter came to rescue us, but he didn't make it out." A tear trickled down his cheek. "He died and we couldn't do anything about it. I was injured and Leo wouldn't leave me. Not long after, the Foot-bots came and wrecked the lair." He looked down at his brother still struggling to catch his breath. "We just kept moving and our supplies ran out way too fast. Leo… I tried to make him eat, but he kept giving me what little we had." Another tear escaped from beneath Mikey's dirty orange mask.

Raphael felt like his chest was being crushed. "And Donnie? Is he dead?" He asked tentatively.

A sorrowful look crossed his baby brother's features. "The Shredder said he was too smart to kill. But…but what he did to him…" Mikey shuddered. "He'd be better off dead."

Raph couldn't help himself. He grabbed one of Mikey's thin shoulders, dread rushing through him. "What did he do to him?"

"He…he…Shredder…he…" Mikey swallowed hard. "He took his brain."

Raph's eyes were as big as saucers. "He took Donnie's brain?"

Mikey nodded, his grip on Leo tightening a bit. "He's got it hooked to some weird computer thing." Tears choked his voice. "He's not Donnie anymore."

"How do you know all that about us?" Leo, who'd been laying still in Mikey's arms, gave another cough.

Raph put a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. "Because I really am your brother."

"If you're our brother, where have you been all this time?" Leo continued to cough as he spoke.

Raph shook his head in dismay. "I don't know. It's all wrong - everything. This world it's so…terrible." Leo coughed again and Raph realized that his brother's skin was hot beneath his hand. "You're sick. You need medicine." He stood slowly, staring at the two skeletal turtles. "I can go to April's and get some."

Mikey and Leo exchanged a look. Mikey frowned. "Who's April?"

"You guys don't know who April is?" The two turtles on the ground shook their heads. "What about Casey?" Again, they shook their heads. It was almost too much to handle. That Leo and Mikey wouldn't know their best friends was crazy. Raph set his jaw. "Well, it don't matter. I'm still gonna get you some medicine."

"No."

Raph glared. "What do ya mean, no! You're sick, Leo!"

"No, I'm dying." Leo looked around them in defeat. "The truth is we aren't going to make it through the winter. We don't have enough food. The Foot-bots patrol the sewers and the streets night and day." He sighed. "And neither of us is strong enough to fight them off if we get caught out there."

Disbelief rolled across Raph's face. "So, you're just going to stay here and wait to die?" Neither Leo or Mikey would meet his gaze. "I can't believe it. I can't believe you'd just give up like this."

Leo glared at him, twisting in Mikey's arms. "What do you know! If you really are our brother, why haven't you helped us! Maybe if you'd been here things would have turned out different! But you weren't!"

Raph backed away from them. "W-what?" His own voice echoed in his head. _"Maybe they'd be better off without me."_ He began to shake all over. "No… No!" He'd done this! He'd wished for this! He turned and began to run blindly down the tunnel. "This isn't real! This isn't real!" He rounded a corner and came face to face with a squad of armed Foot-bots. He was suddenly swallowed in laser fire from all directions.

* * *

"Aaaahhhh!" Raph sat bolt upright on the cold floor. He stared around him sweating, his pulse racing. He was in his room. There was his bed and drum set and his posters. He ran his hands across his body, finding no burns or gaping wounds.

Suddenly the door came open. "Raph!" Leo charged in followed by Don and Mikey. They crouched beside him. "Are you okay?"

Raph stared up at the concerned look on his brother's face. "Leo! You're alright!"

The older turtle was shocked to suddenly find himself wrapped in a tight hug. He glanced at his other two brothers, who just shrugged. "Uh, yeah. I'm fine, Raph."

He sat back with a large grin. "Donnie you're alive and Mikey you've got both eyes." Mikey giggled when Raph grabbed his head and hugged him.

Leo and Don exchanged another confused look. Donnie put a hand on Raph's shell. "Are you sure you're okay, Raph?"

This time when he sat back to look at his three brothers, the smile faded. "Hey, guys, I've been a real creep lately and….I'm sorry."

"That must have been one heck of a nightmare." Don said after a moment.

Leo frowned. "Want to talk about it?"

Raph shook his head. "No. I don't even want to think about it. But there is one more thing I want to say." They all waited patiently, wondering what could be going through their brother's head. "I love you guys. I know I don't say it enough, but I do. I'd do anything for ya."

Mikey grinned. "We love you too, bro."

Don grinned as well. "Yeah, and we'd do anything for you too, Raph."

Leo smiled, squeezing his brother's shoulder. "That's what brothers do."


End file.
